*GUEST SUBMISSION* Letter 34: Only You Know What Makes You Happy

17 Jan

Sweetpeacurli writes:

Dear me at 16:

I know it seems like your parents know best, but trust me, they don’t always.

For one… you are not fat. Yes, I know your mother keeps telling you that you are. But trust me, you are not. You are beautiful and slender. Your belly is flat. You have lovely womanly curves. And believe it or not, 20 years from now your weight at age 16 will actually be your goal weight for most of your dieting efforts.

Secondly… It’s okay to not go to college right after high school. Your mother is convinced that if you don’t go right away you never will, and that if you don’t go to college you’ll end up living on the street. This is her issue; not yours. It’s okay to know that you aren’t ready to decide your course of study, and therefore your career path. It’s okay to want to experience something of the world before deciding what you want your role in it to be.

Third – and this kind of summarizes #1 and #2 – stop succumbing to pressure. Take your time when making decisions and decide what is best for you. Only you know what makes you happy. Decide what that is and pursue it. Those who love you WILL support you, and will help you achieve whatever goals you set your sights on. All you have to do is decide on those goals and vocalize them, and stick to your guns when the naysayers (like your parents) object. People will jump to help you however they can, including your parents, believe it or not.

Finally… put down the damn eyeliner. You look like a tramp.

Sweetpeacurli is a self-proclaimed curl guru who thrives on pseudonyms. The dreams she once had of becoming an internationally famous hair stylist were dashed to pieces by her parents’ snobbery, so she has resigned herself to being a colorful character on the interwebs. You can find her at http://healthycurls.net.

______________

If you liked this post, you’ll surely love this one and this one!

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11 Responses to “*GUEST SUBMISSION* Letter 34: Only You Know What Makes You Happy”

  1. magnolia January 17, 2011 at 1:08 pm #

    isn’t it grand how other people can cause such mayhem? i’ll be 30 in six months, and my grandmother still tells me things like “don’t raise your eyebrows; you’ll get wrinkles.” thankfully, my dad managed to keep her away from me when i was in my formative years, so my response to that foolishness was, “i have so many more important things to think about in my life than whether or not my eyebrows are causing wrinkles.” sigh.

    • thehindsightletters January 17, 2011 at 3:11 pm #

      It’s so true. People might have the best intentions with their “advice” but it can sometimes do more harm than good. I’m still learning how to wade through the bad and seek out the good. Glad you liked the Guest Submission!

  2. patridew January 17, 2011 at 6:43 pm #

    I SO wonder how I would fare in the hindsight letters my children will write. Hmmm… food for parenting thought.

    • thehindsightletters January 17, 2011 at 9:49 pm #

      I know, me too! It’s by far, one of the more terrifying aspects of parenting 🙂

      • patridew January 18, 2011 at 7:37 pm #

        I was inspired by your blog to write my latest blog, a letter to a 30-year-old me. Just sent it to press.

      • thehindsightletters January 18, 2011 at 10:00 pm #

        Wow! Nice to hear that we inspired you! I will be over to your site to check it out 🙂

  3. lowsaltfoods January 18, 2011 at 3:38 am #

    Parents can cause so much damage while meaning so well. That’s also why it is so difficult to tell them about the damage their causing, because one knows that their intentions are good and complaining will just seem like or be taken as ingratitude no matter how valid the complaint.

    • lisasub January 18, 2011 at 8:11 am #

      This is so true! I once confronted my mother on some past issues and was met with such hurt and pain – when people are doing the best they can with what they have, it is really not in anyone’s best interest to point fingers and lay blame.

  4. lisasub January 18, 2011 at 8:10 am #

    Very nice. A healing approach to making sense of things our parents taught us. I’m so caught in this cycle right now. Looking back so I can look forward. Perhaps a letter to my child-self is a good exercise. Parenting is indeed the world’s toughest job. The best we can do is always work to improve ourselves and give everything we have to our next generation. Thank you for this introspective entry.

    • thehindsightletters January 18, 2011 at 9:56 pm #

      Looking back and addressing the past is such a cathartic process. We are always looking to add to our list of contributors, if you wanted to share your own Hindsight Letter with us! Thanks so much for reading!

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