The Hindsight Notes: It Gets Better

12 Nov

The Hindsight Notes is a recurring section created for all you readers desperate to participate in THL, but lacking time to write a full letter. Each Note is composed of a question. All you need to do is answer it, in the form of a comment (below).

This week’s topic is: It Gets Better.

As you know, this week all of our posts have been dedicated to the It Gets Better Project. We’ve even been lucky enough to share an incredible Letter from talented Canadian Writer Sarah Liss.

For this week’s Hindsight Note, we’re asking that you share with us a moment from your adolescence when you needed to know that It Gets Better. Were you having a tough time at school? A tough time at home? Feeling alone or frightened or small? Share it with us here. You never know who you could help along the way.

As always, I’ll start us out:


If you liked this post, you’ll love this one and this one!

3 Responses to “The Hindsight Notes: It Gets Better”

  1. thehindsightletters November 12, 2010 at 10:05 pm #

    To be honest, I had SO. MANY. Of these moments. I have always been, and on a much smaller scale continue to be a particularly tantalizing target for bullies.

    There was a period at the beginning of high school where it got so bad that I would frequently excuse myself from class to go and cry in the bathroom. The worst part was the passive aggressive nature of the bullying. Though I knew very well that I was being bullied, had I taken matters to a guidance counsellor, for instance, I would have had a tough time proving it. How do you prove a whisper, a hidden note or a mean “joke” at your expense?

    I started skipping class to avoid being taunted. My grades started to slide. I was losing myself in the struggle of it all, just trying to keep my head above water.

    I made the radical decision to switch high schools. It was scary not knowing what the new school would be like. I knew a few of the students, but not many. It was a big risk to take. What if this one was worse than the last? All I knew was, I couldn’t take any more York Mills Collegiate. It was draining my spirit having to exist within those walls each day. I had to make a move.

    As it turns out, it was the best decision I could have made. As nerve wracking as switching schools was, it gave me the opportunity to wipe the slate clean and begin anew. I made new friends. I stopped skipping class. My grades instantly got higher. Best of all I was so much happier, and finally felt like I was in control again.

    If you’re reading this right now, and feeling lost or stuck or hopeless (at any age!), please know, It Gets Better. There are so many things that you can do to take control of your situation and move beyond it. Talk to someone! Ask for help. Ask for advice. Believe in yourself. Believe me, this is not your reality forever. Truly, truly, truly. It Gets Better.

  2. magnolia November 14, 2010 at 4:21 pm #

    i don’t have much to say in the way of bullying, thank the gods. i dodged a major bullet in my youth: i was a year younger than everyone else in my grade, so when everyone was caught up in the emotional turmoil that was middle school, i was a) not hormonally poisoned, so not involved, and b) not seen as a threat or a target. the girls who were so vicious to each other all looked at me as a mascot and looked out for me. i was able to float above it all, and i am eternally grateful for it.

    the way i’d like to speak to kids in the “it gets better” context is this: there are a lot of people in this world who like to lash out. they are small, weak people who make themselves feel better by hurting others. that’s what bullying is. kids do it to each other, and lawmakers and so-called community leaders keep the trend going.

    know this, though. for every hate-filled liar who tells you that you’re not worthy, that you’re “damned” for who and how you love, or that you’re not entitled to safety and protection, directly or indirectly, there are THOUSANDS of us out there in the world who love and value you just as you are. we’re doing our level best to fight back against these people who would harm you. and we want you around to see the results when we inevitably beat them back and win. it won’t be perfect. it will be better. you are loved, you are supported. please trust that, as hard as it may be to see it. seek your friends and allies out. we’re out here, and we’re waiting to help.

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